Saturday, August 4, 2018

A horror story about confinement nanny...

I finally managed to organise my thought and record down this story based on my horrendous experience. I’m so glad that I endured the 28 days confinement and it is over. Important lesson learnt here is don’t desperately take any recommendation from another confinement nanny. They are friends who just want to book jobs after jobs. They get referral fee $300-$500. They are simply looking out for each other’s interest. I’m extremely disappointed with the referrer because I asked specifically whether the nanny is hygienic. Of course the answer was “Yes!” but reality is the exact opposite. So mummies should only seek recommendation from friends or other mummies. Be quick to book the nanny as early as 1-2 month into pregnancy. The good ones are usually popular. Those nanny left unengaged after 4 months are definitely not good enough.
There are many things I didn’t like about this nanny just to name a few,
  1. Basic hygiene is not up to standard for the nature of her job. For e.g. 
    1. She was late on the first day. After a long bus and cab ride from KL, she reached my place at 10pm. She eagerly wanted carry my baby without doing any basic wash up. I have to request her to take a shower and change her clothes before touching my baby.
    2. Baby sometimes pee on her but she didn’t change her clothes. Even when the baby swaddle wrap was slightly wet, she didn’t change it. The baby handkerchief was also not changed on daily basis.
    3. She always leaves the half filled food waste garbage bag in the dish washing basin for the entire day and only clear the rubbish bag only once a day at night time. Food waste attracts cockroaches.
    4. Dustbin not cleared timely. It is always filled with soiled diapers. Liquid from the rubbish even dripped inside the dustbin. Btw we have plenty of spare garbage bags and we told her need not scrimp on the garbage bags. No improvement.
    5. We have a rubber mat for diaper changing. She didn’t use it but change diaper on her bed. I can see stains on the bedsheet but she never take initiative to change her own bedsheet. She can tahan sleeping with poo and pee. 
    6. Once she changed diaper in the middle of feed because baby poop. After diaper changed, she intend to continue feeding without washing her hands. Luckily we stopped her in time.
    7. After diaper changed (with poo btw) she left the soiled diaper in the room, on her bed and often without wrapping up the soiled diaper at all.
    8. She accidentally dropped baby handkerchief on the floor in the hospital. She picked it up and continue to wipe on baby’s mouth even though my husband tried to stop her.
    9. Kept the chopped garlic in fridge overnight and caused the fridge stink big time. After being told to stop the practice, she now left chopped onion in the fridge instead.
    10. The kitchen top is always somewhat messy even after all the cooking and cleaning is done, supposedly. Scissors, wet table clothes, utensil etc. are scattered on the kitchen top conveniently.
    11. I engaged a Malay massage service and used the nanny’s room. Throughout the 5-day sessions, auntie did not mop her room at all. The floor is sticky. She can take it. 真係好嘢
  2. Absent minded, forgetful and not fully focus on the job, inadequately experienced although she has been in the industry for >10 years (which means she has not been paying attention to her job - 作事不认真)
    1. Often use handphone to play loud music (same annoying song btw) and WeChat voice messages in the kitchen while doing stove cooking
    2. Does not keep track on the baby last feed timing and volume. Increase milk volume for small baby unilaterally without communicating with parents. All kinds of baby fuss was interpreted as “not enough milk”.
    3. I have a 4-year old toddler at home. A gate was installed at the backyard to prevent inadvertent access and fall over the yard railing. But this auntie always left the gate opened and created potential fall hazard for my elder kid.
    4. Does not gauge the amount of food properly. Sometime the food is too much sometime the food is not enough. Food taste and rice texture is inconsistent.
    5. When she wakes up and left her room in the morning, she switch off the fan. But the baby is still sleeping in the stuffy room! She kept the windows shut and baby is wrapped tightly in swaddle wrap for sauna. I have to move baby to the airy living room and remind nanny to use thin napkin for swaddle purpose.
    6. Oil or condiments bottles always left uncapped. 無手尾
  3. Basically she is a lazy person who likes to take short cut but misses the original intent of doing her job properly 懒到出汁. For e.g.
    1. Slow boiling soup or dessert on the stove without using lid because she wanted to prevent the condensate from dripping to the side and having to wipe the stove later. But lizard may poop into the pot or insects may drop into the pot
    2. Kept opened dried food packages in the cupboard as it is without tying up or transfer into a container. Cupboard door left opened sometimes. Convenient for next consumption but also easy for lizard / insects to access and contaminate the food
    3. She kept the room window shut all the time so that she doesn’t need to shut them when it rains once in a while, in June/July hot season! The heat never bother her anyway. Sounds familiar?
  4. She does not have the necessary knowledge or skill or interest to support breastfeeding. 
    1. She perceived breastfeeding as a gap filler for her to do her kitchen chores when the baby is busy with mummy. There are many things a nanny can do to support breastfeeding such as, offer a pillow, prepare hot/ cold compress, massage, bring the baby to mummy and advise the timing to nurse, position the baby at the appropriate angle etc. But my nanny just sat around do nothing helpful except playing with her phone.
    2. She warmed the ebm in the milk warmer for extended period of time. So warm that she need to run it through cold water before giving to baby. There goes all the nutrients. 
    3. She is very quick giving bottled ebm in huge volume so that baby will fall asleep quickly. She expect me to express more milk but she doesn’t seems to understand that baby sucking motion on the breast stimulate milk production. Towards the end of the confinement, my milk supply dropped. My baby and I have to work hard from ground zero after the nanny left.
Besides the inadequate skillset necessary for the job, I particularly dislike some of her behaviour 
  1. Talk loudly on the speaker frequently. Sometimes she didn’t realize that baby is crying.
  2. Like to gossip about previous customers on the phone among friends or coworkers. I’m quite sure I’ll be her next gossip subject.
  3. Works are not organized efficiently not able to wash my clothes. I did my own laundry. She wakes up later than the whole family and only managed to cook my “standard” soup noodle breakfast around 830 - 9am
  4. Like to make irritating shushing sound and talk nonsense in high pitch to the baby thinking that’s the way to communicate with infant. 


Confinement is a crucial period for mummy to recuperate. Nanny played a very important role that’s why their service is expensive. I paid $2,800 plus 2 angpao in 2018 vs. $2,400 in 2014. Getting an incompetent nanny will only add more stress during this physically and emotionally demanding time. I regret hiring her and I’ll gladly share her details to any mummy who wants to avoid this lousy nanny.

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