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From 妙妙犬布麗

A horror story about confinement nanny...

I finally managed to organise my thought and record down this story based on my horrendous experience. I’m so glad that I endured the 28 days confinement and it is over. Important lesson learnt here is don’t desperately take any recommendation from another confinement nanny. They are friends who just want to book jobs after jobs. They get referral fee $300-$500. They are simply looking out for each other’s interest. I’m extremely disappointed with the referrer because I asked specifically whether the nanny is hygienic. Of course the answer was “Yes!” but reality is the exact opposite. So mummies should only seek recommendation from friends or other mummies. Be quick to book the nanny as early as 1-2 month into pregnancy. The good ones are usually popular. Those nanny left unengaged after 4 months are definitely not good enough.

There are many things I didn’t like about this nanny just to name a few,

1. Basic hygiene is not up to standard for the nature of her job. For e.g. 
1. She was late on the first day. After a long bus and cab ride from KL, she reached my place at 10pm. She eagerly wanted carry my baby without doing any basic wash up. I have to request her to take a shower and change her clothes before touching my baby.
2. Baby sometimes pee on her but she didn’t change her clothes. Even when the baby swaddle wrap was slightly wet, she didn’t change it. The baby handkerchief was also not changed on daily basis.
3. She always leaves the half filled food waste garbage bag in the dish washing basin for the entire day and only clear the rubbish bag only once a day at night time. Food waste attracts cockroaches.
4. Dustbin not cleared timely. It is always filled with soiled diapers. Liquid from the rubbish even dripped inside the dustbin. Btw we have plenty of spare garbage bags and we told her need not scrimp on the garbage bags. No improvement.
5. We have a rubber mat for diaper changing. She didn’t use it but change diaper on her bed. I can see stains on the bedsheet but she never take initiative to change her own bedsheet. She can tahan sleeping with poo and pee. 
6. Once she changed diaper in the middle of feed because baby poop. After diaper changed, she intend to continue feeding without washing her hands. Luckily we stopped her in time.
7. After diaper changed (with poo btw) she left the soiled diaper in the room, on her bed and often without wrapping up the soiled diaper at all.
8. She accidentally dropped baby handkerchief on the floor in the hospital. She picked it up and continue to wipe on baby’s mouth even though my husband tried to stop her.
9. Kept the chopped garlic in fridge overnight and caused the fridge stink big time. After being told to stop the practice, she now left chopped onion in the fridge instead.
10. The kitchen top is always somewhat messy even after all the cooking and cleaning is done, supposedly. Scissors, wet table clothes, utensil etc. are scattered on the kitchen top conveniently.
11. I engaged a Malay massage service and used the nanny’s room. Throughout the 5-day sessions, auntie did not mop her room at all. The floor is sticky. She can take it. 真係好嘢
2. Absent minded, forgetful and not fully focus on the job, inadequately experienced although she has been in the industry for >10 years (which means she has not been paying attention to her job - 作事不认真)
1. Often use handphone to play loud music (same annoying song btw) and WeChat voice messages in the kitchen while doing stove cooking
2. Does not keep track on the baby last feed timing and volume. Increase milk volume for small baby unilaterally without communicating with parents. All kinds of baby fuss was interpreted as “not enough milk”.
3. I have a 4-year old toddler at home. A gate was installed at the backyard to prevent inadvertent access and fall over the yard railing. But this auntie always left the gate opened and created potential fall hazard for my elder kid.
4. Does not gauge the amount of food properly. Sometime the food is too much sometime the food is not enough. Food taste and rice texture is inconsistent.
5. When she wakes up and left her room in the morning, she switch off the fan. But the baby is still sleeping in the stuffy room! She kept the windows shut and baby is wrapped tightly in swaddle wrap for sauna. I have to move baby to the airy living room and remind nanny to use thin napkin for swaddle purpose.
6. Oil or condiments bottles always left uncapped. 無手尾
3. Basically she is a lazy person who likes to take short cut but misses the original intent of doing her job properly 懒到出汁. For e.g.
1. Slow boiling soup or dessert on the stove without using lid because she wanted to prevent the condensate from dripping to the side and having to wipe the stove later. But lizard may poop into the pot or insects may drop into the pot
2. Kept opened dried food packages in the cupboard as it is without tying up or transfer into a container. Cupboard door left opened sometimes. Convenient for next consumption but also easy for lizard / insects to access and contaminate the food
3. She kept the room window shut all the time so that she doesn’t need to shut them when it rains once in a while, in June/July hot season! The heat never bother her anyway. Sounds familiar?
4. She does not have the necessary knowledge or skill or interest to support breastfeeding. 
1. She perceived breastfeeding as a gap filler for her to do her kitchen chores when the baby is busy with mummy. There are many things a nanny can do to support breastfeeding such as, offer a pillow, prepare hot/ cold compress, massage, bring the baby to mummy and advise the timing to nurse, position the baby at the appropriate angle etc. But my nanny just sat around do nothing helpful except playing with her phone.
2. She warmed the ebm in the milk warmer for extended period of time. So warm that she need to run it through cold water before giving to baby. There goes all the nutrients. 
3. She is very quick giving bottled ebm in huge volume so that baby will fall asleep quickly. She expect me to express more milk but she doesn’t seems to understand that baby sucking motion on the breast stimulate milk production. Towards the end of the confinement, my milk supply dropped. My baby and I have to work hard from ground zero after the nanny left.

Besides the inadequate skillset necessary for the job, I particularly dislike some of her behaviour 

1. Talk loudly on the speaker frequently. Sometimes she didn’t realize that baby is crying.
2. Like to gossip about previous customers on the phone among friends or coworkers. I’m quite sure I’ll be her next gossip subject.
3. Works are not organized efficiently not able to wash my clothes. I did my own laundry. She wakes up later than the whole family and only managed to cook my “standard” soup noodle breakfast around 830 - 9am
4. Like to make irritating shushing sound and talk nonsense in high pitch to the baby thinking that’s the way to communicate with infant. 

Confinement is a crucial period for mummy to recuperate. Nanny played a very important role that’s why their service is expensive. I paid $2,800 plus 2 angpao in 2018 vs. $2,400 in 2014. Getting an incompetent nanny will only add more stress during this physically and emotionally demanding time. I regret hiring her and I’ll gladly share her details to any mummy who wants to avoid this lousy nanny.

Epic Hair Style

Baby Sab Weight Gain Journey

13 Oct 2014 (Day 6)

15 Oct 2014 (Day 8)

17 Oct 2014 (Day 10)

18 Nov 2014 (1 Month)

21 Jan 2015 (~4 Month)

25 Mar 2015 (~6 Month)

Jan 2016 (~15 Month)

May 2016 (1.5 yo)

Sep 2016 (~2 yo)

April 2017 (~2.5 yo)

Aug 2017 (~3 yo)

Feb 2018 (~3.5 yo)

D-day for 小小B

21 June 2018

0135. As usual I woke up for mid night pee since 30+ week of pregnancy. Regardless how much water I drink at night, I need to pee in the middle of the night due to increased baby size pressing against my bladder. This time round I notice traces of blood again. Sticky mucus look alike blood stain was noted on 21 June morning which marked my last scan and gynae visit. Per plan, I was scheduled to induce the baby on 27 June.

0217, I felt an unusual pain sensation while trying to fall back into sleep. Felt like want to poo and it went away shortly. After 5-6 minutes, I felt it again. I wonder what could that be. Started searching online and try to figure out. The pain came back again and again every 5-6 minutes. I tried to walk around, drink some water, do some light chores to distract myself but the pain came back regularly. Could this be Braxton Hick or the real contraction? I don’t know because Sabrina was induced and I had epidural without going through much labor pain. 

0330, called up delivery ward hotline to seek their advice and was told to check in through Emergency. After packing up my last few things into the hospital bag, we carried Sabrina into the car. AYE was so quiet at this wee hour.

0350, checked in to A&E and went straight to delivery ward for more waiting. The uncle at the Emergency counter seems to be very experienced with midnight labor cases. 

0500, doctor making rounds and only managed to check me. I was 4cm dilate. Requested for epidural because my pain scale was 10! My pain tolerance level is so low. Epidural is the right choice.

0540, epidural administered by an Indian / Bangladeshi looking doctor who speaks exactly like my construction worker. No more pain but longer waiting time. Blood pressure shoot up again. Same as my 1st labor.

0730, stayed awake. Can’t sleep. Felt slight pain and thought epidural didn’t work. Reminds me of the horror stories I heard from other mummies when epidural effect didn’t kick in at all. Fortunately mine was not the case. Pain scale is significantly reduced so it works fine for me.

0930, a team of doctors making their rounds and checked me. 1 old doctor like a lecturer and 2 MO like students. I was 7cm dilated yet the water bag is still intact. Doctor decided to break it to quicken the labor process. 

1000, dr Claudia finally came to my delivery suite and getting ready to deliver little baby. She checked the baby is already nicely sitting in position waiting to come out.

1019, baby Hannah is born! With 3 pushes.

18 mo quantum leap

Between 12-18 month I don't really remember what new tricks my bb Sab learned. But from 18 mo onwards, her skill and behaviour development is amazingly significant. She can almost run, almost feed herself, almost sleep through the night and stop nursing to sleep at night. She can open the kitchen sliding door, walk into the kitchen and point at the milk bottle rack to indicate that she wants milk. She lie on the couch and hold her bottle firmly, pull the teat in and out of her mouth to adjust the pressure inside. She understand shower and walk into the bathroom. She understand her body part on her face. She can kiss me on my lip. She get on and off the dining chair carefully without aided. Colouring became one of her favourite activities. Before leaving the house she will point to the shoe cabinet. She sit still in the car seat on morning ride. She dance when there is music and stare at TV when there is motion picture. She stack up toys and clap to praise herself. She can do so much fun stuff and made me laugh.

Sabrina first zoo outing

Brought Sabrina to family day at the zoo for the first time. Bb spent about 5 hours there, weather is good. Overall it was quite fun. When coney island is open I will bring bb there. In dec we can go to river safari

How to bring bbo out for vacation?

There are many criteria to fulfil before we can bring bbo for holidays

1. Where is bbo going to bathe?
2. How are we going to settle bbo feeding every 2 hrs?
3. Where is bbo going to sleep?
4. How to bring bbo around with a stroller?
5. How safe is the place for bbo?
6. Is the place baby friendly?
7. How will baby adapt to the flight or ferry?

Basically staying at home or near home is the best since food, bathing, sleeping and mobility is already pre arrange. Next best is staycation where the logistics is not so daunting. Until I can resolve all 7 questions, vacation to overseas is out of bound. 2015 we will only go Malaysia. Hopefully in 2016 we can go elsewhere.

After baby starts to walk things should be much better, I hope.

Bbo slept in manduca while i m carrying her

We cinema eng wah finally opens in clementi today. We decided to pay a visit with bbo along. The cinema has 10 halls. Bbo fell asleep snoring for the first time in manduca while I am carrying her. I can finally watch midnite show nearby next time. Before she slept she pooed, I felt the gush of poo on my stomach. She must have felt very comfortable and relax.

Baby diaper.... So many brands

I have been buying diapers for baby from nb, s and now m. From Feb '15 onwards (4mo) bb start trying on L diaper.

So far tried pampers, merries, Huggies, drypers, mamy poko. Next one to try is goon... on new year eve we brought sabrina to big box and bought 2 pack of goon. I was a bit disappointed with big box. Quite chaotic inside. We have a stockist ck which import diaper from thailand, indonesia and vietnam next to our home so we can buy JIT.

Bought Huggies pants L when bb is only about 7kg. Can't wait to see her wearing pants. 

Mummy's Verdict

Merries (NB & S)- soft and absorption is excellent but more expensive. Not ecomical for newborn because newborn bb pee n poo all the time.

Drypers (S & M) - absorb water on the front part of the diaper. When it gets wet and heavy, it put pressure on nb bb who sleeps on her back all the time. This surely caused discomfort. Poo poo leak from the side girdle fast n furious. The absorbent material also breakup like the cheap sanitary pad after a while. So drypers is bad.

Pampers active baby (M) - the length is slightly too short. Pee pee leaked from the back of the diaper waist band. 

Pampers baby dry (L) - soft and absorption is excellent. Good for overnight use.

Goo.n (M &L) - soft and good absoption. Quick dry. Ok for overnight use. 1 setback is the waist rubber band gets loosen pretty quickly. If bb actively kick her legs or lift her butt up n down, that's where pee n poo might leak. So advisable to pull / adjust the waist band whenever u carry the bb.

Mamypoko (S & M) - Good absorption for pee. For poo it is not bad and no leak so far. The material is a bit stiff. Bb wears it like adult wearing washed jeans. Not sure if that's comfortable for her delicate butt. Although M fits for 6-11kg but when bb turn 7.5kg, the diaper seems too short. It barely covers half her butt. Long waist cutting is important for night use. We experience a few leaks (both pee n poo) above the waist band.

Huggies pants (L) - Difficult to wear when baby still cannot stand yet. The material is hard. Similar to Drypers maybe slightly softer. The absorption is as bad as Drypers if not worse. I can see the poo liquid flow inside the diaper during changing. For pee it is ok as long as baby is wearing a bigger size.

As she grows bigger / fatter we stick to goo.n for a long while. When we go overseas we also try foreign brand. Comfy and Snugglers (AUS), ah (Nederland), First Price (Norway)

A big change in my life (0-3 mo)

Since the baby was born our lives have changed so much.
Month 1
Week 1 was tough. Baby jaundice did not clear immediately so she had to stay in hospital 1 more day for phototherapy. Went back to clinic every other day while still doing postnatal massage tummy wrap. The pressure was distressing. Body pain, bleeding, hormone change, breathing difficulty etc. Pushing bb cart around and fold it behind a taxi also caused much stress especially when a old and 眼花 taxi driver waiting for me. Milk supply was low so I gotta introduce a few formula feed. Thank god the supply came on day 5 or 6. 

Week 2 was not any easy although the massage was over and I got slightly more rest time. But excessive perspiration constantly woke me up from sleep/ nap. I lost count on the number of shirts I changed in 1 night. Confinement rule #1 no fan and body all cover up in this hot and humid Singapore. To make things worse, confinement food made me more heaty. I suffered from cough and sore throat. As I started to get a hang of breastfeeding, baby wasn't cooperative. She just whine n cry the moment I try to latch her on. Before the pregnancy hormone return to normal level, anything can trigger a mental breakdown. I cannot withstand baby cry so I pump my milk and give her in bottles.

But pumping is not as efficient as bb suckle so some ducts  blocked in Week 3. I developed Mastitis and had fever for 2 days. No matter how much I pump, I can feel a lump in my breast. The remedy - let the bb suckle more often. In order to prepare for days to come, we learned bathing, carrying bb, change clothes, diapers in 2 short weeks. We observed what the CL did and learned from her. Steep learning curve. Week 4 was fast. It's time for CL to leave and that's when I realized she has been a super great help for the whole month.  $2500 was the money most well spent. To celebrate bb full month, we venture to mapletree business ctr for afternoon tea. Bb suddenly wanted to nurse in the middle of our gathering. Tried and successful. The next day we had lunch at Bedrock Grill. Again bb wanted to nurse b4 our main course was served. But overall it was a challenging experience.
Month 2
Week 5 is even more tough because CL is gone. Bb doesn't sleep much at night. I was home alone with bb for a day. Her cry can bring down the house. There is absolutely no specific crying patent. I don't know what she wants. I can only try to nurse or change diaper in order to pacify her. Growth spurt (I believe it is) made her hungry all the time. Nursing has become round the clock, full time job. The real sleepless nights just began. We tried to bottle feed at night to buy some sleeping time. In Week 6, we gradually understand bb cue and able to tahan her cry. She also started to sleep in more human-like patent. I still wake up to nurse 3 times in a night. I even cut my hair short to ease the night feed procedure. I learnt to save time n make do with every single thing. To take up the challenge of motherhood, I also began to do more house chores such as laundry, both hand and machine wash, sweep n mop floor, cook light lunch. Hm will then do marketing, prepare for bb bath, run errands, watch tv, play game etc. This is also the week we get absolutely no help from anyone. We are on our own for real. We achieved so much, especially bb Sabrina. She is 4.5kg this week. She also started to spit up milk, regurgitation. At first we were worried but after a while we just get used to it n simply wipe the vomit quickly. No big deal. She will outgrow it. Week 8 is still very tiring. Expecting my last few visitors. Slowly getting used to bb sleeping schedule. Our life now revolves around bb sleeping schedule. Hm can still go out for midnight show while bb sleeps. On one Sunday after came back from Clementi Mall, bb fell asleep in the rocker herself for the first time. No lullaby no cuddling. That's amazing.
Month 3
Struggling with 3 meals and finally gave in to order tingkat delivery. Cooking is taking too much time from preparation to dinner on the table. Every day there are tons of housework waiting for us. After finishing one round another round of housework is already queueing up. Laundry, wash, hang dry, collect n fold. sweep n mop floor, prepare food, eat, clean up n wash plates. Wa.... Baby is so used to suck breast n refuse bottle now. But I still got 2-3 months to train her hehe. From this month onwards we go out more often. Slowly picking ourselves up and get back to our normal life once again. Inducted bb into Dinner Gang.

D-Day for 小baby

We have been waiting for baby's arrival since weeks ago. Today is the big day for us, 7 Oct 2014.
9:00
Had something for breakfast. Reached NUH Ward 22 delivery suite. Put on the cardiograph monitoring device to monitor baby heart beat. The heart beat changed whenever the baby moved inside.
9:30
Checked cervix. It was soft but only 1cm. Start putting in the first pill to induce contraction, dilation etc.
12:00
Break for lunch. 2nd round to resume at 15:30. Took a 2-hour nap. Blood pressure increased probably due to contraction or anxiety.
15:30
Dilation is still small. No additional pill needed because the contraction was regular. Just rest in the ward 48 till 1930. Food by Sodexo taste really sucks. No vege but only chicken & fish. All protein.
19:30
Back to delivery suite for the 3rd round. Contraction is still regular but dilation only 2cm. Next door neighbor was sent back to the ward while I stayed to take high blood pressure pill. First took 50mg then increased to 200mg. Waited for another round of observation.
21:30
While waiting, my body started to shiver even though the place was not cold. The nurse gave extra blanket anyway. My teeth uncontrollably hitting on each other. Suddenly there was a strange sensation like a kick at the bottom and something snap. I realized my water bag burst. Then fluid just keep coming out slowly like urine but uncontrollable. Nurse checked and confirmed the water bag ruptured. I feel like pooping too. Cleared my bowel and back to the bed.
23:30
Checking of cervix can only be done every 4 hours so I waited. First shot of pain killer was administered on my thigh but it doesn't seem to be effective. Dilation was 4-5cm. I decided on epidural.
2am 8 Oct 2014
I was finally given epidural and straightaway fall asleep because the pain and discomfort just disappeared immediately.
5am
Woke up by aneastistian to explain how the pumping device work. I signed the consent form while on drugs. After he left, doctor checked dilation and surprisingly saw baby head. She asked the nurse to get me ready to push. They both encouraged me and told me that I pushed well. Baby will be out very soon.
523am
In less than 10 pushes, the baby is born!! I can feel the weight is offloaded from tummy. they placed the tiny baby on my body to let me feel her. The feeling was so amazing.

我们的小baby

Week 1-4
小baby is one of our 3 wishes this year. God has been faithful and blessed us with our first child in 2014. It was not easy as we tried for almost a year. But in God, everything is possible. I took Clomin for 5 days and did a scan on 12th day. When the folicle grow to the optimum size, doctor advised us to try for baby every other day in the coming week. Relax n be blessed.
Week 5
CNY week in KK n KL. Waited for home test in anticipation.
Week 6
Home test kid showed positive. We're very excited about it. Celebrated valentine's day with brand new feeling n meaning.
Week 7 (23 Feb)
Visited doctor in NUH. My pregnancy is confirmed. I traveled to Sibu for Amy's wedding. I was ok. Thank God. After I returned, EDD was estimated to be 16 Oct 2014.
Week 8-10
Some pregnancy symptoms shown up. I feel tired and hungry all the time. I need to eat constantly. Bf at 7am, tea break 9am, lunch 11am, afternoon tea at 3pm and dinner at7pm. 5 meals! I carry nuts and biscuits in my bag for snacks. There was not much nausea feeling. No vomiting, no dizziness. Thank God! That's truly a blessing.
Week 11
Skipped my Perth trip. Family having great time and sent some nice photos. Hm is already planning to bring 小baby there in the future. Langkawi, Danang n Brunei are also in his list.
Week 12
First trimester is almost over. Did a health check for Down Syndrome. Can see 小baby drumming and dancing all the time. Very active. Weight gain 1kg at 61kg.
Week 14-15
Had some pain in my gum. Stopped feeling hungry constantly. Now I can manage with 3 normal meals. Not much craving. Less snack in between meals.
Week 16
Visited gynae and scan for heart beat only. Everything is normal. Weight gain 1 kg at 62kg. Craving is something unexplainable. Over times I craved for 叉烧烧鸭饭, 干捞面, pineapple, curry fish head, 叉烧包, 炒饭 etc.
Week 17
Baby bump is showing after meal. Started to buy maternity pants and dress online. 1 from taobao 1 from qoo10. exploring new things everyday.
Week 18
No afternoon nap for the 1st time even after window shopping at mothercare. We bought our first baby clothes from uniqlo. Sometime I got feeling of baby poking me from inside my tummy. Heartburn sometimes.
Week 19
Bought a mothercare baby cot but not setting up till nearer to EDD. Taobao need a forwarder to deliver so I cancelled my purchase. Refund is immediate.
Week 20
Full scan. Baby is healthy and normal size. It's a girl! Bought some Philips Avent bundle from expo. All my online purchase arrived. Weight gain 2kg at 64kg. Hm went back to KL. Bought napkin n bumper set. Cheap cheap.
Week 21
We're halfway through.
Week 22
Felt the baby for the first time. It's like she knocking from inside.
Week 23
Redeemed bubble wrap from Philips but missed the free parking. Received the first gift from ah perng aunty. As i grow bigger i bought 2 more dress from qoo10.
Week 24
I can sense 小baby's sleeping patent. Her movement is more frequent. So exciting. Weight gain 3kg to 67kg. Need to control weight gain. I'm big. My movement slowed down and experienced shortness of breath. Hm started to think hard about names. Washed n cleaned most of baby's new belongings.
Week 25
Cooked 泡参炖鸡汤 for nourishment. It helps to improve energy level. Received my medela pump but still need to get a suitable power adapter. Bought 2 mothercare long pants, 1 clothes and maxi cosi infant car seat for 小baby.
Week 26
Tried home cook bird nest for the 1st time. Low cost, tasty & nutritious. Roughly $45 for 2 bowls. We also decided on baby's Chinese name. Still need to think about English name. Baby cot set up inside our room.
Week 27
Bought a manduca baby carrier from yio chu kang. Baby kick and punch can be seen outside tummy.
Week 28
Did another growth scan and we saw 小baby's face. It's so cute. Very excited. Weight gain 1kg to 68kg. During this festive weekend we visited Upper Pierce Reservoir. I taught 小baby what photosynthesis is haha... baby weigh 1.1kg
Week 29
Starting to feel water retention on the feet. Gotta watch my diet and exercise a bit more.
Week 30
So much baby clothes washing to do before 小baby's arrival. Bought some nappy fasteners to replace traditional safety pins.
Week 31
Wardrobe in the common room has been reorganized for baby stuff. No new furniture. Save space.
Week 32
Tracking baby movement on the count-to-ten chart. Baby is getting stronger each day. Gained 4kg at 72kg now. Baby weigh 1.6kg.
Week 33
Heartburn happened more often. 多餐少量 is the way to alleviate but it doesn't go away. Coconut water here I come! Have not been taking coconut since pregnant.
Week 34
Amniotic fluid index maintained. Weight gain 2kg to 74kg. Water retention getting more serious. Shoes cannot fit but that's the biggest size I can get from IMM.
Week 35
Sick for 3 days. Lost some water but AFI remains normal. People said coconut water helps. Baby kick is stronger each day. Can feel it every hour. Hospital bag is almost ready. Baby weigh 2.2kg
Week 36
Gained 1.5kg to 75.5kg. AFI remains normal. Doctor advised to induce labor in 2 weeks time. Bought quinny stroller to pair with the maxi cosi car seat. Bought a kuka sofa, too. Will be delivered in Dec. Feels like Xmas is coming.
Week 37
Finally bought the bath support net from Kiddy Palace. $18.90 after discount. Bought some dates and herbs from TCM shop to make confinement drinks.
Week 38
Waited for baby the whole week but no show yet. We are getting a bit 迷茫. Bought some girl clothes from mothercare. On 7 Oct proceed with induction labor. Lost 2kg to 73.6kg.